i have decided...

...to follow Jesus. Remember that song? No turning back, no turning back. Ok, that's not what this post is about. I have decided that I'm going back to school!! I've been spending some time thinking about my future. I need a plan and goals to work toward or else I get into that constant wandering state. The non profit organization I work at is connected with a christian grad school and they have a Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership. This is what I plan to get and I get a sweet discount on tuition b/c of where I work. Holler back!

I can't believe I'm going to take the plunge again and go back to school. I just know that there is a lot more time until I'm going to be ready to settle down. There are a lot of things I want to do with my life and many places I want to go. It only seems right to continue my education in an area that I can see myself wanting to move forward in.

Ok so it's Friday and we all need something to laugh at. Check out this website - I have been reading it all day at work and cracking up. Some things may be a little crude...but definitely some funny ones.

www.textsfromlastnight.com

attraction

I'm going to take a break of being serious and write about something a little more light hearted. Tonight at the gym, I realized that I'm weird. I mean I guess we're all weird in our own ways, but this is the way that I think I am weird. Most girls find guys the hottest when they're all dressed up in a dress shirt and slacks, others find men attractive when they're playing an instrument on the stage and dripping with sweat as they sing...every girl has her fancy. Here is mine: I LOVE guys in work out clothes. I mean I absolutely find a guy the most attractive when he's relaxed and getting a good workout in some nice workout clothes. I was inspired to write this starting about a week ago when I suddenly spotted a certain guy at the gym that I found particularly attractive. Not only was he attractive, but he wore the perfect gym clothes - I must admit...my heart kind of melted.

This is key, a guy must be wearing the RIGHT kind of work out clothes. While I can totally be turned on by a guy in his gym clothes, I can also easily be turned off. Here is my version of the right kind of clothes.
Shorts: not too long and not too short, right at the knee or right above. Loose but tight enough to let me know if you have a butt (I'm not going to lie - I like a nice butt).
Shirts: I like it when a guy doesn't seem like he's trying to show off his body, it just happens naturally. No super tight shirts (gag). My favorite is a loose cutoff t shirt (combined with a strong broad chest and arms). Wife beaters are acceptable, but not attractive if it seems like you're trying to show off.
Shoes and Socks: A good tennis shoe is always key. For some reason I find dark/black shoes hot (this is def not a deal breaker, i really don't care that much)- and it is important to wear ankle socks that you can't see. I hate those awkward socks that are neither high nor low.
Hats: I LOVE backward hats! Throw one on with all the above and I might ask to have your children...not really, I would never do that. There is something boyish and masculine about the backward hat and I love it.
** Please remember to wash your gym clothes b/c no one likes to be around the smelly guy at the gym.
** Please know that not all women want men who are jacked up and huge (gross), but we do enjoy men who take care of themselves and could beat us if we arm wrestled. If we work hard to stay looking good,so should you!

I think this look appeals to me because it's so masculine. The truth is that I love when guys are GUYS. I love their scent (not dirty musty scent, but clean/cologne/OLD SPICE scent) and I love when they look and carry themselves like men. It's refreshing to me and it's quite attractive.

What do you fancy in the opposite sex? Is there a "look" that you're weirdly attracted to?

hum

My heart drops every time I get an email from my agent in NY telling me about a casting. A picture of the city, much like the picture above, flashes through my mind and I always get melancholy feelings. What should I do? I have family and friends here and a great job. I know maybe a couple of people up there and I definitely don't have a job up there. This is such a weird struggle for me.

You hold me without touch.

You keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much

than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.

When I thought that I was strong.

But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

hungry

Just about 45 minutes ago I was sitting in my office doing some work / eating lunch. I was enjoying some wonderful homemade vegetable beef stew my mom made yesterday. I got a call in my office and it was someone calling our 800 line. She called to say that her family ran out of money last month and she doesn't have any money left to provide food for them.

My heart dropped and as I looked at my hearty soup I realized in an instant how lucky I am. I did a little research and got some numbers for her. I called her back, gave her the info, and wished her luck. Now I'm sitting here and I can't quite tell you how I feel - I should be happy to realize how lucky I am. But I neither feel happy or sad....

A lot has been going on in my brain and life. More posts to come when I have time.